


Busride to the future

by Vinushuka



Series: Tour 2013 Ghoul [18]
Category: Dir en grey, Sukekiyo (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 15:31:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18759259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vinushuka/pseuds/Vinushuka
Summary: During the busride to Niigata Die persuades Toshiya to inform his ex lovers about their relationship. Telling Kaoru about his decision is extremely difficult to Toshiya as it will be heartbreaking news to Kaoru. With Kyo things are slightly easier because he is actually the one who wants to confess that he has found a new love. After Die has briefed also Shinya they can start planning their future together from a clean slate. It's time for a celebration.





	Busride to the future

After the first three shows of the national Ghoul tour everybody started to settle into the normal routines of tour life. There was only one day between the show at Sendai and the next two shows in Niigata Lots, just enough to travel and settle down at a hotel close to the venue. While the equipment travelled by truck the personnel climbed into a bus and headed towards Niigata to the other side of the country.

      Die was still dazed and confused about what happened with Toshiya during the previous weekend. The days after that had been so busy ad stressful that the whole thing had no properly sunk in yet: the kisses, the blowjob and Toshiya’s wish not to run away from him anymore. Sitting for several hours on a tour bus offered him the first chance to think things over. He started to wonder if he really had run away from Toshiya like he claimed. Toshiya of course could have interpreted his drinking sprees and adventures with odd girlfriends as an attempt to escape the feelings towards his bandmate and best friend. Perhaps Toshiya was right, maybe he had difficulties to accept the fact that he was falling in love with a guy.

      “A penny of your thoughts”, Toshiya whispered to his bandmate who had already for a while been staring into nothingness with a deep wrinkle between his eyebrows. Die was normally a very talkative guy but now he had been withdrawn and quiet after starting the busride from the hotel at Sendai.

“Is something bothering you?” Toshiya asked again when Die didn’t react to his first attempt to open the conversation.

“Err, sorry. I’m just trying to figure out what happened last weekend. Just now it feels like I have dreamt the whole thing”, Die replied glancing at his friend.

“I can assure you that it was real and at the time you were very happy about it”, Toshiya told his companion and laid his hand on Die’s arm to emphasize his words.

“Then why do I have this feeling that you want to forget what happened?” Die mumbled and rubbed the snakeskin tattoo on the back of his hand.

“Why on earth would I want to forget a thing like that? Last Sunday was my dream-come-true. But you know me, I’m not a guy who shows his feelings openly in public.”

“You could at least recognize my existence. You have lately acted like I wasn’t there at all. Is it because you don’t want Kaoru or Kyo to notice anything?” Die finally spat out the question that had started to bother him during the Sendai show and the rehearsals before it.

      Die’s straightforward question took Toshiya by surprise and he kept silent for a while before replying.

“To be honest, I haven’t had any chance to discuss about us with either of them. Maybe I should use this spare time to do that. Kyo can’t escape anywhere from this bus”, Toshiya snickered. After that he turned and peeked at the back of the buss to see if Kyo was available.

“Err, I would recommend starting with Kaoru. I heard he’s hoping to have you back”, Die added looking a bit embarrassed.

“Who has told you that?” Toshiya asked slightly annoyed.

“Well… Kaoru mentioned that to Shinya during their dinner and Shinya told me.”

“Okay, maybe I will start with him then”, Toshiya said feeling relieved.

      During his weak moment Toshiya had promised to consider returning into a relationship with Kaoru but under the current circumstances the idea was outdated. Of course he hated causing a disappointment to Kaoru but that couldn’t be helped if he wanted to have Die as his mate. Toshiya knew that Kaoru would understand and forgive him but he wasn’t sure how Kyo would react. Sometimes the man just wouldn’t take a no for an answer.

      Kaoru was sitting alone and writing something on his laptop, probably one of his columns.

“I’m sorry for the disturbance but could I have a word with you?” Toshiya asked politely before he sat down beside Kaoru.

Kaoru closed his laptop and gave Toshiya a warm smile: “I always have time for you. Please sit down.”

Toshiya had difficulties to start the conversation but in the end he decided to be frank with Kaoru.

“Err… I promised to consider your proposal and now I have finally come to a conclusion. I have decided to go forward… with Die.”

“Hmm, I almost guessed that this would be your decision. I believe you have wanted a relationship with Die for a long time.”

“Yeah, for a very long time and finally my dream is coming true. I just couldn’t make any other decision.”

“I understand”, Kaoru sighed and turned to watch out of the bus window to hide his tears.  

“I’m so sorry. You know I love you and always will, but I love him more. Please forgive me.”

“I know you love me, otherwise you wouldn’t be here right now. You don’t have to apologize for your feelings. Just do what is right for you. That’s best even for me”, Kaoru said turning towards Toshiya tears running down his cheeks. Toshiya wiped them away with his hand and after that took Kaoru’s hand into his. For a while they sat in silence enjoying their last moments before things would change.

“Thanks for everything”, Toshiya whispered to Kaoru and then stood up and walked back to his seat.

      When Toshiya came back, Die glanced at his friend but didn’t say anything. It was all too easy to see that Toshiya was struggling to hold back his tears.

“Was it that difficult?” Die asked after a long silence.

“Yeah, it was difficult”, Toshiya mumbled and wiped his wet cheek. “I owe him so much and I’m forever grateful that he taught me to accept myself.”

“You’re such a good man”, Die said and grabbed hold of Toshiya’s hand. They had a long track record in trusting each other even in difficult situations but this moment added a new dimension to their relationship, a dimension of respect.

      Just at that moment the bus pulled over for a short break. The weather was fine so the guys stepped out to admire the mountainous scenery. There was a decent looking restaurant close by so most of the team headed there to have some refreshments or relieve themselves. Die and Toshiya didn’t join the others but took a short walk along a narrow path leading to a precipice.

      When they arrived on top of the bluff, Toshiya grabbed Die into his embrace. “I have always wanted to kiss you out in the open. Can I do it now?”

“Yeah, of course you can”, Die replied trying to keep cool in spite of his excitement. They were there for anybody to see and Toshiya didn’t mind. That was new to Die.

      Their embrace and kisses took longer than they realized because the bus driver had to honk his horn to invite the lovers back inside. The driver winked his eye at Toshiya when they arrived at the bus slightly out of breath. “Exercise does you wonders”, Toshiya snickered as he sat down on his seat followed by Die.

      Toshiya would rather have forgotten that he should also have a chat with Kyo. Die gave him a good excuse to postpone it by starting to tell crazy jokes, which kept Toshiya roaring with laughter for more than an hour. Finally Die had to excuse himself and go to the bus toilet.

      Toshiya was sitting alone dreaming about his lovemaking wit Die, when Kyo’s polite question caught him off guard: “I would like to have a word with you. Could you come and sit with me for a while?”

“Yeah, sure”, Toshiya agreed and quickly wrote a message to Die: “Having a chat with Kyo.”

Kyo and Toshiya settled into his ‘lounge’ which had four seats and a table in the middle. Kyo was working during the bus ride just like Kaoru. There was an open laptop on the table and some drawings scattered beside it.

“I’m sorry to disturb you two like this but this busride is probably the only chance to talk properly before the shows”, Kyo regretted fiddling nervously with his pen.

“How is your work with Sukekiyo’s new album progressing?” Toshiya asked trying ease up Kyo’s nervousness.

“Uta, Yuchi and Mika are doing awesome work together while I and Takumi are on this tour. I’m so proud of them”, Kyo enthused and collected his papers into a neat pile. “More than half of the songs have already been completed.”

“That sounds great! I’ve been trying to encourage Die to form his own band too but he’s not yet convinced about his capacity as a singer or a songwriter”, Toshiya shared with Kyo some of his personal information.

“Working with new people is very rewarding in many respects. It also brings new ideas to our current work. Personally I’ve learned a lot from Uta”, Kyo told Toshiya a ring of gentleness in his voice.

“Hmm… Do I hear something special in the way you say Uta?” Toshiya teased Kyo guessing what this whole conversation was about.

“Well, yes. I think I’m in love with that name”, Kyo admitted. “I hope you don’t mind. You told me not to wait.”

“Yes, I did and I meant it. Actually I’m very happy for you”, Toshiya pointed out. He reached his hand across the table and squeezed Kyo’s slender fingers into his large hand. “I think I should go now. I don’t want to keep Die waiting.”

“I understand… ”, Kyo grinned. “Good luck with him.”

      When Toshiya came back to his seat, Die wasn’t there. Toshiya glanced around to find his missing friend. Just as he guessed, he located Die’s red head beside Shinya. Toshiya sat down and waited patiently for Die to finish his business with Shinya. Most probably he was informing his old friend about the changed circumstances.

“How are things here?” Die asked when he came back and sat down beside Toshiya.

“Everything is fine now. Both Kaoru and Kyo are aware of our relationship and took it very well. Actually Kyo told me that he’s in love with Uta”, Toshiya explained looking extremely satisfied.

“That’s good news! I told Shinya about us. He was all hyped about Kaoru so he has no problem with us being together.”

“So… Do you have any plans for tonight? Maybe we should celebrate somehow our common future. It’s starting to look very bright now”, Toshiya proposed and gave Die a quick kiss on his cheek. Die didn’t settle with that. He grabbed Toshiya’s face into his hands and pressed his lips on his devouring him passionately. He didn’t stop his kisses even when the crowd at the back of the bus started to applaud and whistle to them. “Don’t suffocate our bassist”, one of the technicians called.

“Common future sounds very nice to me”, Die beamed to his friend. “It’s definitely worth celebrating.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is the last part of series Tour 2013 Ghoul. After that I will probably return to my old series Loved that needs a continuation. See you in another reality.


End file.
